Remind me again,

what the *************** I think I'm doing.

They Told Me There Was a Fire

and that you had been hurt
my only regret was that I missed the chance
to roast marshmallows.




Wow that was HORRIBLE! but mildly funny. No it was not directed at anyone. I'm a good person, that's just random stuff from my brain.

The Way Out Is In

Once upon a time


I thought it was over.





Nope. Not even close.





There's no way I'll ever be rid of this.





And... right now anyway, I don't think I want to be.

Tool - The Patient


Radiohead - Street Spirit

HI.

So much, it seems,
Has changed.
Life is full of variables,
It seems I am assigned to be
the only constant.
As my friends
Move to different places,
Show different faces,
Change their lives,
or give them away,
I am here.
Still the same.
It seems I always will be
Here.
Just being.
Come to me with your problems,
for I have empathy beyond my years.
Come to me with your problems,
and I will give anything to dry your tears.
Here I am.
Here I will be.
Still the same
as I have always been.
I hold on to you,
my precious Variables.
I beg you,
"Please! Stay with me!
You are all living,
and I cannot follow!
Become constant,
like me,
So I won't be alone anymore!"
Yet, I love you,
Variables,
so I let you wander
as you please.

O colourful world

feel like I'm dreaming
move like I'm drunk
see as if I'm high
there's these moments,
like I'm on XTC
feeling
breathing
not seeing
not thinking
who knows anything anyway?
Not me!
I'm caught in this
whirlwind
in a colourful world
that flashes to grey
as I spin spin spin
away
away
...away
out of sight
out of mind
oh where am I?
I have gone
into the grey.
maybe someday
I will come home.

Oh So Much Has Changed

Hahaha

So now that my collar is at the bottom of a lake,
and I've lost the man I loved with all my life,
I both hate everything and love everything.

It's quite nice to be holding my own leash,
but that means I can't run to him anymore.
Which is devastating.

And oh, I'm coping okay...
I suppose.
I only cut once, which is pretty good.
And I didn't kill myself, which believe me, was on the top of my to-do list on that night.
Yeah.... went out driving in the rain... and lemme tell you, I had NO intention of coming back.
But then I realized, he isn't/wasn't what made me valuble, and while he was the reason I'm still alive today, that doesn't mean he was the only thing making me worthy of living.
So here I am. Here's to many more days of weary wonder.

Cheers,
- E

Trump.

I know you love me.

The fact that you don't tell me hurts much more than what you'd have to say.

"Of course." ...of course.
You say it as if I'm silly for asking.
But... I don't think you would.
It hurts, yeah. More than probably anything else you could do. But... it hurts so much more that you don't tell me.
I know you're just trying to avoid
hurting me.
But... I'll take the truth over secrecy any day.
I miss your honesty with me.
Not that you lie to me now.
I believe that you tell me the truth...
but... I shouldn't have to ask for it.
And... I know you're busy,
but please,
please don't just brush me off.
Again, not that you try to.
But... it hurts anyway.
I'm glad for you when things are good,
And I believe that you will pull yourself back up,
when they aren't.
But please...
just...
tell me.

Funny thing is, I feel great!

and that's probably not good, but guess what? I DON'T CARE!
AHAHA
...
wow...
....wow.

I Don't Know

if I'm.... ready or not.
I mean, everything's so... in my face about it. It's kind of difficult, you know?
Of course, I feel like a whiney little baby here, but... I'm just not ready.
I'm sorry, Dono. Truly I am.

Illusion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu-8wGbWMro

watch this. It's good.

Once Upon A Lovely World

Something's breaking
I hear it snapping,
Like an old tree,
Too weary to face the wind
Once again.
No - it is a Shattering.
Like a mirror,
Thrown against the floor.
Something like the humming of power lines,
With a sweetly sinister melody
Trailing through it -
But not with it.

Something, like leaves falling
Onto dark water.

A child's humming,
Calliope music...
Familiar,
But not comforting
Haunting,
But not the stuff of nightmares

It is the dirge of the earth
An elegy written
After Eden

For a world
Unfit for immortals.
A tune we all know
A song we all must sing
It is of us
But
it is not ours.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Quite lovely, really.

In A City Of Devils We Live

and I'm alright.
I swear I'm alive,
And I'll scream I'm here,
And I'm gonna be fine.
Hold my hand.
Take my heart.
We'll whisper our fears
We'll shout our belief
And Baby, it's okay
It's going to be okay.
I'm no authority,
But I know where I come from
And I know where I am.
And it's alright.
Everything's alright.
Hold my hand.
Take my heart.
In the end,
We'll be standing here
Stronger than our fears
Because despite it all,
We've come out alive.

Something in my head...

...feels like...
As Blood Runs Black's
Legends Never Die

but that could just be the caffeine and the fact that she's a lesbian and I ate waaaay more than I wanted to today and I feel like death and I did something stupid and I'm still freaking hungry and I'm not exactly sure what's going on there and I have no money but I really need money.
Damn I hate it when that happens.

Princess

"Cause it's stupid... and I can't really control it... *smirk* "
hahah 'Manda I love you!

Now dance, fucker, dance...

moo

"I never was able to do the purging after binges. I think that might have prevented me from eating as much. This postcard from PostSecret gives me a glimpse of what it would feel like if had been able to make myself throw up.
I think this is a picture of a pregnant woman, but I am familiar with the feeling after a binge that makes your stomach feel bloated. There were times when all I could do was lay down after the binge."

Edit: I have no idea who wrote the quote.

okay.

I'm a lot of things. Stupid, however, is not one of them.

Edit: Thin, unfortunately, isn't either.

Spicy Marmalade

Huh.

There are so many people in the world. So many. It's weird to think about. I mean, there's over six million, seven hundred people here. 6,706,993,152 is the estimate from July of last year.
And think of how many people that doesn't include. People who live in the mountains, in the woods, in impoverished countries... wow. It makes me feel so small. So insignificant. So plain. And I guess I am. I can't even begin to comprehend people doing things elsewhere. It's like, while I'm sitting here, typing this, people are going to work, sleeping, being born, being saved, dying, killing themselves, killing eachother... It kind of hurts to think about the world. For some reason I feel compelled to do it though. And with this sick version of empathy I've been given, it...kills. *shakes head* We're all so little. We're all so foolish. It's kind of frightening. Thank God that He knows what He's doing, hmm?

Ad Section

Okay. Every fuckin ad I see is for weightloss. Weight management. "1 Rule to a Flat Stomach" "1 Skinny Stomach Rule" "How I Lost 30 lbs Fast!" that or it's porn stuff. I fuckin hate porn. I HATE it. Hate. Beyond Hate. The worst.
No wonder we kids are so screwed up, hmm?